Who Am I? By Onwuchekwa Ikechukwu David

I tend to want to define myself whenever I look into the mirror. Most times, all I see are two sides. One is lifeless and not deceptive; a blank surface of whatever it is. The other has life; it breathes, it moves and it thinks. It is this side that questions my existence. Who am I? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of life?

“Oh, shit! He’s doing it again, someone wake him up,” Jack’s scream pierces the atmosphere and it is accompanied by a multitude of thoughtful sleeping form. I open one sleep befuddled eyes and take a squint at them all before settling back to continue my questioning. I am the definition of creep. At least that’s what they all say. The ones that think creep is rather too low toned prefer to use the word freak. I have been called so many names in my life that sometimes I find it hard to remember my own name.

“Just who am I? What am I? Where did I come from and why?” These are the questions that conitnue to plague me.

“Wake him up someone!” Jack’s insistent voice cuts through my subconscious again, disorganizing my train of thoughts. I think I was close there, I almost had answers Arrrgh!. I try and ignore the voice and continue. Just who am I? It’s a duality question that peeks into both my existence and personality. To someone else, the time period of repetitive questioning would begin to seem rhetorical or early signs of dementia but for me, with every time I ask myself the question, I seem closer to finding the perfect answer, each time closer than before. Very much similar to a tree overladen with fruits and in desperate need of pruning. I can’t find a perfect answer because there is nothing like perfection. Perfection is for the gods and and of the many heroes we hear tales of their legendary exploits.

But I have a clue to what I am. To who I am. I am a lonely soul, searching tirelessly for companionship and comfort. I am a thirsty being, hunting furiously for the pleasures of this world. I am a cowardly fellow who gains aphrodisiac pleasures from his thoughts and imaginations than reality. I am just a blip on a map amongst billions of other blips struggling to make it and rise to stardom. I am a twisted soul who pushes emotions away in a frantic bid to escape being human yet long for them after they are gone in order to fill up the void in my chest. An epitome of confusion But through it all, I have come to realize that that epitome of confusion, that barely significant blip on the radar, that twisted soul, that cowardly fellow, that thirsty being and lonely soul is me.

“Waaaaaaake up dammit!” Jack finally manages to rouse me from my slumber.

“Urghhh!” I groan as I gradually allow myself to come awake, they were all staring at me like I was some new born alien they were seeing for the first time. Trying to hide my smile, I stand up and gently brush my clothes, turned a reassuring smile on them all and walked out of the room. As I walk through the doorway, I imagine myself pausing briefly at the doorway, turning back to face them, to face the world, to face them with a huge grin and say, “I am me and I am awesome.” But I don’t do that. Instead I walk away, shoulders slumped, misplaced steps, countenance vague, a white blank stare on my dreamy eyes and for the umpteenth time, continuing in my quest to find the answer to my question – who am I?

You can follow ONWUCHEKWA IKECHUKWU DAVID on instagram @_weird.nerd

Send your articles, poems and stories to bellozainab77@gmail.com for a feature.


The Labour Market

Schools have released a new batch of graduates into the job market. Nigeria is a country with high unemployment rate and the vacant jobs there is are asking for at least 5 years work experience. Every now and then, I receive emails from Jobberman about job vacancies that fit my employability status. Instead of sitting at home waiting for that dream job or looking for connections, all you need to do is visit job listing sites like jobberman.com, careers24.com.ng, hotnigeriansjobs.com, ngcareers.com among many others. These sites not only supply you a list of vacant job positions in different firms but also give tips on how prepare your CV (some even help you prepare yours) and information that will increase your employability rate.

On that note I’ve complied 7 tips that will be of help to job applicants.

1. Line up with people on the inside of the company you’re applying to. Most recruiters interview people recommended by current employees before sorting through outside applicants.

2. Don’t forget to read the job advertorial well to see if you meet the requirements. Most organisations use an applicant tracking system to screen out those who meet the requirements they set. Save yourself the stress of applying to so many jobs whose requirements you don’t meet.

3. Have a well written cv. Employers look at your cv critically to judge the type of candidate applying. Your cv is an important tool in your job search and it is the ticket that’ll transport you from being in a pool of candidates to selected list of potential employees. Don’t be lazy by using a generic cv to apply for all jobs. Tailor your cv to suit each job requirement.

4. Keep your cover letter. It should be descriptive, short and intriguing to make the recruiter want to meet you in person.

5. Be contactable. Make sure you’re reachable in all the forms of contact you put in when applying. Being unreachable means you’re unserious about getting a job. So many people have missed job opportunities by simply being unreachable.

6. The interview. When you’re called for an interview, make sure you do an intensive research on the company’s business and the functions required for the job you’re applying for. Make sure you’re on time for your interview and it is important you dress well. First impression matters, so look professional. Be confident and relax, it’s an interview not an interrogation. Don’t be negative and do not argue with the interviewer.

7. Don’t be afraid to do a follow up after the interview and don’t forget to send thank you notes to the interviewer for taking his time to interview you.

Following these tips won’t necessarily get you a job but they could improve your chances. Knowledge is power, make sure you do your research before applying.


Karma is a natural principle, it is said to be that law that simply say what goes around comes around. Your actions determine what happens to you, meaning whatever you do comes back to you. If you do evil to a fellow brother, evil it is you’ll get and usually far worse because another principle says glory of the latter shall surpass the former. Picture a scenario where you are watching your neighbor’s house on fire and deciding not to help because it’s not your house but then few minutes later, the fire spreads and now your house is on fire too. An episode of Game of Thrones best portrays this view, Cersei Lannister had the opportunity to put a stop to the High Sparrows’ actions when they publicly shamed the High Septon by making him walk naked in the city. She did this with a motive to used the High Sparrow to punish Queen Margaery and her brother Lord Tyrell. As Karma would have it, the High Sparrow she thought she could manipulate had her imprisoned and made her do the walk of shame as the High Septon did for atonement.

A lot of people have been sharing their experiences on karma to prove it is real. A worker paid for one newspaper but took 2 papers because he was sick of co-workers rifling through his paper. As he walked off with both newspapers, he noticed that his shirt tail got stuck in the newspaper box when it slammed shut. He had to put in another money to get his shirt out 😂😂😂

A young boy saving up to get a new iPad gave the $20 he had saved up so far to help the local mosque that had been vandalized. An international human rights lawyer heard of his generosity and sent him a new iPad to say thanks.

Whatever you do, strive for good always, you don’t know tomorrow. Happy New Month 😃😃

Thank You


Dear Readers,

I just want to say thank you. I started this blog on the 1st of May, 2017 and you all have made it easy for me with your constant support. Thank you for taking out time to read my posts and for comments.

I specially want to thank these people for being there since day one.
Ekemini – thanks for always been there, for your ideas, support and being annoying
Kunle Kareem – thanks for time from your busy schedule to help with the blog
Tomi and Vanessa – thanks for always being true
My little sister – thank you for your support and you taking time to publicise the blog.
Esther Ojuade – thanks for being my number 1 fan
Jonathan – thank you for your kind and encouraging words, they’ve helped me a lot.
Lawal – thank you for all your ideas, talks and help.

I appreciate you all. Anticipate more interesting, interactive and fun posts.

Thank you
Zinnie 💜

The Social Media Battle

The pros and cons of social media in our lives have been weighed against each other since its launch. There have been many debates as to whether social media does more harm than good. Thanks to Facebook and other social networking apps, my mum has been able to reconnect with old friends, schoolmates, and colleagues she never thought she could ever talk to or see again. So many businesses have grown, entrepreneurs have emerged and made profit. Many a life has been lost with the advent of this social media. We have cases of people interacting online and when they plan to meet physically, one party does harm to the other. What do I think? The cons of social media outweighs its pros.

We can all agree that it reduces productivity. Time that could be spent to create, build, give or learn is spent on social media complaining about how hard the economy is and the unavailability of jobs. With the exception of those whose jobs are internet based though, even with that, it is stressful. It may seem like you have to be connected 24/7 and has become noise and clutter, not communication. Businesses could occasionally toss in a mention about their product/service and no one would care. Nowadays, that seem to be the order of the day as it is used by nearly everyone. Everyday you see messages of people advertising their free products and service. Have you ever visited a blog page with so many ads that it’s disturbing to read the information you want?

Let me not start with the fake life people live nowadays trying to impress random strangers on social media. Some go to the extent of borrowing clothes and borrowing houses just to take pictures. Another disadvantage of great concern is the issue of cyber bullying. Social media has created a platform for people to anonymously bully others without getting into trouble for it. Even celebrities aren’t left as Ed Sheeran and Meek Mill among others have had their share of cyber bully. It’s bad enough to be bullied in school but just when you think you’re safe at home, you open your social media account to see your messages full with harmful messages or threats.

Being social means relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing enjoyable things with each other according Merriam Webster dictionary. We have however changed being social to having plenty of followers on Instagram and Twitter. What we see as social nowadays is actually being unsocial. It has become so unreal that how many of your 2000 friends on Facebook or Twitter can come through for you? We have lost in so many ways that many can’t even hold a conversation with the person next to them but find it easy on social media.

Social media is like sugar, so sweet that you keep going back for more. I guess some people just allow it to rule their life and lose the ability to disconnect or unplug themselves from it. The debate as to whether social media does more harm than good will keeping going till who knows when. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m a social person and enjoy the benefits of social media. It’s just that social media like any tool, is about how and why we use it and the negative outweighs the positive.

What’s your take on the situation?

For the love of the game 2……..

I could hear the guys’ excited voices from afar, excitement vivid on their faces and gestures as I got closer, then it dawned on me that the football season was beginning. I ran to drop my bag and pick a seat to listen to their conversation and learn more. They painstakingly explained what had been going on the transfer window and the beginning of a season. The mark of the football season’s beginning was the curtain raiser, also called the community shield. The community shield is a match played by the winner of last season’s premier league and F.A cup to determine who gets the bragging rights in the country basically. This match is played on a middle ground which for the past seasons has been played at the Wembley Stadium, England. The community shield match is played a week before the season kicks off. This year however featured Chelsea – Premier league winner and Arsenal – F.A cup holder of which Arsenal emerged the winner.

I then asked what happened with clubs in the transfer window and how their decisions would help them this season. Manchester United signed on a new defender, striker and midfielder but with the many competitions they’ll be facing this season, they haven’t got enough wingers and a full back to support them. Their situation is like that of a student just getting course materials for an examination in 2 weeks and will be writing a series of test before the exam day comes. The coming of the season caught them unawares probably or priorities were placed on other things because I can see they’re partially ready for the season. Liverpool however made strategic acquisitions as the players they’ve signed strategically fits the philosophy of the coach. Liverpool is like an HR manager recruiting and selecting employees that are fit for the job and fit for the organisation

Barcelona sold their best player Neymar to Paris Saint German (PSG), a French club. This may seem like a bad choice but the money Barcelona would get from this transaction would provide cash that could allow the team to add 3 reinforcements they have yearned for. This decision is obviously a hard one but for the greater good I believe. It’s like selling your favourite jewellery to buy groceries that would last till an estimated period of time. Arsenal with their current situation and squad won’t go far this season. They’re like a company with clearly defined strategic goals with unequipped and averagely qualified employees to achieve their goals. They’ve got a bunch of average players and few standard players to take to the new English Premier League season if no additional players are signed. Making top 4 would be be equivalent to winning the EPL trophy and with this squad, it’s hard seeing them there. Of course they’d start on a good note then their players would get worn-out and fatigue sets in, no qualified replacements then they start struggling. The manager, Wenger is in his last days as Arsenal’s manager. He knows a player that’s worth the asking price but his economic mindset wouldn’t just let him greater than he is. He is like a CEO who wants the best of the best workers but not willing to pay them their worth.

Chelsea has been busy too. Their situation is like a company that wants to start a new fiscal year without taking advantage of the opportunities in their environment because they believe they’re good to go. They’ve signed and sold players. However, they’ve let go of players they shouldn’t have and they have to work on replacements for them which they haven’t. They’ve lost players to injury as a result of the community shield and they don’t have players on the bench which is really killing them. All these are happening at a time they can still make strategic decisions for the betterment of the team. The manager, however, is always asking for players of good quality and quantity at every media front. He should start doing instead of talking. AC Milan has had the best transfer window so far. They’ve signed new players and are looking for more. Goodwill has been on their side as the promising players they’ve signed we’re bought at a not too expensive price. With their new owners, they’re working so hard to recover and build a better and stronger image.

Football is an interesting sport and like I mentioned in the previous post, all you need is to pick a team, find out their history and achievements, sit back, continue watching and learn each day.

Things Ladies Do That Guys Hate

Our relation to other people is of utmost importance and there are things that we do that others don’t like and vice-versa, we obviously can’t please everyone. In order to understand guys better, I talked to different guys and here’s their view on the things girls do that guys hate.

1. Space: some ladies will bombard their guys with loads of questions like where are you, where are you going to, who are you talking to etc. Too much of these questions and attitudes make the feel too constricted and chained. He wants to be able to hang out with his guys knowing he won’t be facing a jury when he’s back home with his lady. Ladies excessively display their man off to other ladies and some guys don’t like it. A guy’s respect is key, he wants space but he still wants you to make him feel important

2. Comparison: guys don’t like it when you constantly compare them to others – your guy friends, your ex and other people. This is a big turn off for them. Some guys also don’t like it when a girl rubs shoulder with her guy thinking she’s equal, before the guy says one word, she has said a paragraph. This undermines the guy and makes him feel unmanly. Ladies, while we may want to show the world our men don’t control us, we should do it in a way that doesn’t weaken their masculinity.

3. Dependence: Apparently, guys don’t like it most when you depend on them for everything like you can’t do anything for yourself and they also don’t like it when you tend to overdo things and make seem/feel unmanly. Erhm this is quite conflicting though, I guess they want ladies to find a balance between the two. However, one thing for sure that every guy would agree on is that guys hate it most when ladies depend on them financially for everything. They like it to some level, for the sake of their masculinity. This is of utmost importance my ladies, you should be financially independent if you want your guy to treat you with respect and the way you want. You should be able to hold your own financially. Even New York best selling author Sherry Argov knows this as well which is why she dedicated a whole chapter talking about financial independence in her book “Why men love bitches”

4. Snubbing, Garrulity and sense of humour: guys hate it when ladies snub and ignore them. Nobody likes it though but I guess a guy hates it when he’s conversing with a lady and she constantly snubs him, he feels she’s either not interested or she’s forming. Ladies, please if you are forming, reduce it so the guy won’t get turned off. Garrulity – some guys don’t like it when a girl talks too much but I’m sorry, it’s in our nature as ladies to talk plenty and gossip. We all appreciate friends with a good sense of humour, witty and good conversationalists, it’s no surprise guys love these qualities in ladies.

5. Fashion: they say how you dress is how you’ll be addressed. Guys hate it when a lady has poor fashion taste. No guy wants to be seen with a girl that can’t dress well. Ladies, you’ll appreciate it as well, be confident and comfortable when you dress well and are fashionable.

6. Some other things guys hate that ladies do are deceit, covetousness, pretence, laziness, uncleanliness among many others. A guy hates it when his lady accepts favours from admirers in the name of “It’s not my fault they keep offering me these favours.” He also hates it when ladies jump into conclusion without knowing the full gist.

7. When ladies share every single relationship issues with other friends or some other guy is a big no for them or when you talk about your relationship in a gathering whose discussion has nothing to do with your relationship. When a lady makes her guy friend a middleman in your relationship all because he’s your friend or you expect your boyfriend/fiancé to be cool with him all because he’s the friend. Some guys are knuckle heads and see everyone as competition, it’s not cool, they hate it.

That being said, I hope we make adjustments, come to a consensus and live with some attitudes were and when necessary.

Forgive and Forget

I’ve discovered that when we are going through so much hurt especially when it is coming from someone that means/meant so much to us, there is always a tendency for us to resort to hate, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness. We then hear that God can heal us and we run to Him. We soon discover that the hurt is still there, probably even worse. The truth is that God cannot heal us when we are still burdened with so much anger, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness towards the one that hurt us. It is natural for the human mind to switch to defensive mode so as to block our conscious mind from the hurt by dwelling on the hate, anger, bitterness and unforgiveness, but really in your subconscious, the hurt is still very prevalent. This stands to be the case for some who feel they have gotten over their hurt from their past relationship cause in their conscious mind, the hurt seems to have disappeared while in their subconscious mind, the hurt is still there. This is why some people end up having rebounds in a new relationship; some find it hard trusting people or having very close friends cause they feel it is safer to build platonic friendships with a few people and keep the rest as acquaintances. People have lost opportunities, thrown away valuable friendships, missed breakthroughs all because they didn’t heal properly. Behind all the anger, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness lies the hurt deep down inside. This is why it will always seem like “you’re over it”. There’s only one genuine way to truly heal and let go of all the hurt on the inside. True permanent healing lies in embracing the love of God. You have to love the one who hurt you. You have to let God fill your heart with His love. You have to let go of all the anger, hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness you have for the one that hurt you. Trust me, it ain’t easy. You’re going to find yourself crying most times, feeling depressed, feeling broken, but it’s not going to last forever. God’s desire is to heal broken hearts. So whenever you feel broken, instead of accommodating all the negative feelings and emotions towards the one who hurt you, allow God to fill your heart with love. Whenever you feel pressured by your hurt to resort to negative feelings and emotions, speak to yourself, “I choose to love this person and not hate, I choose to forgive this person and not habour unforgiveness, I choose happiness, Joy and sweetness, I reject anger and bitterness”. It may take time, it may seem slow, but just know that one day, you will be totally healed both in and out, both in your conscious and subconscious mind.

I Support Divorce

Marriage – the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognised by law, the institution whereby individuals are joined, so many definitions of marriage. Simply put, it is when a man and a woman come before a Holy priest or a judge ( depending on the type), in the presence of at least one witness and decide to come as one, live together and be together till death do them part. Let’s not forget the to cherish and to love, for better for worse part of the vow taking. So what happens if this spouse that promised to love you till death stops loving you even before death and realises you’re a better punching bag than the one at the gym.

Domestic violence seems to be the order of the day now. A situation where couples who no longer have that burning love for each other resort to physical abuse to express their burning rage and disgust. This is a reason why love should not only be the reason why you go into the marriage institution. If you pray to live with your partner for as long as till death do you part then you need not only love, you need God’s counsel, friendship, respect and many others because there will be a time when the love candle will fizzle and you’ll need those other things to keep you pushing. I support divorce when domestic violence prevails in a home. Although the society would deem it unacceptable as the concept of marriage is for better for worse but I beg to say that the society is selfish centred around a particular set of rules that basically does not work for everyone or every situation because as humans we have a limit to what we all can take.

Anonymous L also supports divorce on the ground of domestic violence but disagrees on the basis of adultery. She believes the partners can always settle when the other cheats. So the question is what if the spouse is a serial cheater? Will you keep settling and giving he/she second, third and fourth chances. Why should you stay with a partner that emotionally hurts you just because society will look at you negatively? You shouldn’t stay with someone that cheats on you serially and abuses you emotionally and constantly bring you down. I support divorce.

Why settle for an unsettled home at the expense of your happiness, your life, your future and the joy of parenthood by your parents. Man or woman, nobody should settle with a partner that physically, emotionally, and psychologically abuses them. According to United Nations, up to 70% of women have experienced physical and/or sexual abuse in their lifetime from an intimate partner. Sometimes leaving shows you are stronger than you thought. Say no to domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse and sexual abuse. I support divorce!!!

If you are going through any form of abuse or know someone in this situation, please call 08057542266, 08102678443

For the love of the game…..

It was another weekend and as usual I had expected the boys at my lodge to disappear like they usually did every other weekend all in the name of football. Today was different, instead they joined us in gisting and played our girls game. I indulged one of them in a convo,my friend who is a fan of one of the popular clubs, he would literally give you all the stats you need to know about his team. I asked him why he didn’t go out like he always does and with a sad face, he told me the season was over. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know football had seasons but the unpleasant look on his face was one thing that got me concerned and interested in knowing what this game must have done to my dear friend because most times I see the excitement on his face at the mention of the game, mostly ecstatic, sometimes a little sobered especially when his team loses but never have I seen him this down casted. He told me the next season won’t be till Mid-August and the only joy to behold was the transfer Window whereby different teams would be making sales and buying players, managers and management putting things in place in preparation for the new season; now that got me really interested. I offered to buy him a coke and the comfort of my company if he would offer to breakdown in details the idea of the game to me, he took the offer.

He started by telling me about the prestigious UEFA Champions League, he termed it the world cup for teams on the club level and the biggest competition for players on club level. Before now the only football competition I was aware of was the World Cup which takes place every 4 years and is participated by the top 32 countries across the continents. So literally, the UEFA Champions league is the biggest competition for the top clubs across the continent also having 32 teams participating too. I know that each country across the continent have their own football league but I was still baffled why I have never seen African clubs participate in the UEFA competition. So he further explained that UEFA means The Union of European Football Association which means only European teams can participate; I was stunned, I should have known that. Saving me the complicated details that might make me want to lose interest, he said he would focus only on the European teams and I should go catch up on the other continents league to satisfy my curiosity. He continued by listing the top European leagues and the clubs that participate in the UEFA Champions league representing them; started with England whose league is known as Premiership, (Arsenal FC, Chelsea FC, Liverpool FC, Manchester City, Manchester United etc), Spain whose league is known as the La Liga (Barcelona FC, Real Madrid FC, Athletico Madrid, Valencia etc), Germany whose league is known as the Bundesliga (Bayern Munich, Bayern Leverkuseen, Dortmund, Wolfsburg etc), Italy (Juventus, AS Roma, AC Milan, Napoli etc), France (Paris St German, Monaco, Lyon etc) and other top leagues having the best teams in their league representing them. He pointed out that the best 4,3,2 or 1 in the league depending on the credibility of the leagues gets to represent in the champions league and other considerations like the winner of the Europa cup gets an automatic qualification for the competition. I asked what was Europa cup, he said it was another European cup set for the second set of teams that didn’t meet up the criteria to participate in the champions league. Further more, he took out time to explain to me some other interesting facts and rules that makes the game a very interesting one and finally he told me, all I needed to do was to choose a team of interest, find out their history and achievements, then I should continue watching and learning each day. He told me the weekends were set aside for the league games and sometimes during the week days incase of outstanding matches or scheduled week games. I didn’t want to lose the interest I’ve picked about the game so I told him we would catch up later but the little I had known about the structure gave me a burning interest in the game.

One thing I have realized is when there is an important game, it is almost impossible to get the total attention of our men, their love for football takes them away for hours and that has started posing a threat to relationships. The times one could connect to her lover are threatened by these games and it annoys us more because even while we try to bask in the moment and enjoy the game with them, we tend not to understand the game and the reason for their excitement. So ladies, I would advise first we pick interest in learning the ethics and basics of the game and start having insights on the competitions so the next time our men gets fascinated and drown in the love of the game, we go down the lane with them.